- By Stephanie Hickey -
I wrote an
earlier blog about how the word “retard” is offensive and shouldn't be used
casually, as if it doesn't hurt, and as if there aren't a million other word
choices available to people. I am not the only one that has written or spoken
out against the "r-word". There is a big national movement to educate
people about the "r-word" and how harmful it is, urging others not to
use it. And it has brought down a storm. Reading message boards, I saw the
people getting up in arms, rallying, "I'll talk however the (you can fill
in the blank on your own, I'm sure.) I want!" "I'm so sick of these whiny (you can
fill in the blank again) trying to tell me how to talk. We have freedom of speech
in this country."
Freedom of
speech is an illusion in this country. Or I should say that it is a
misinterpreted notion. Yes, we do not live in a dictatorship where will get
imprisoned or shot if we speak out and say the truth or what is in our hearts.
But there is no such thing as consequence-less speech and I think many
people forget this and misunderstand the idea of "freedom of speech."
There are reactions to what we say. Our words can offended others. And our
words can wound others--and wound them deeply.
But that does
not mean we should be afraid to speak out when it is necessary and right,
because our words can have a positive effect--and a powerful impact. I don't
know if the disability community is really putting the power of words to full
effect. I feel that we have some dirty words in our vocabulary. "Please."
"Thank you." "I'm sorry." We are always apologizing. (as if
we are an inconvenience). And saying "please" and "thank
you" aren't always bad things. It is good manners to say those
words. But we speak them as if we are obligated to thank everyone for every
little thing that someone does for us. And believe me, I am not being preachy
here, I am very guilty of this habit myself. I am always saying I am sorry, and
I am always apologizing for asking for things to which I am rightfully
entitled. And we are not being whiny whatever-people-want-to-call-us simply by
speaking up for the basic things we deserve, such as respect and dignity and
independence.
We are a
legitimate community and minority. But I feel that we are not taking the steps
that other minorities have taken in the past to make positive changes for
themselves. We are not using our voices in government as strongly as we
should--and we are not communicating with each other. April is National Disability
History Month, and it's been more than twenty years since the ADA has been
passed. But I feel that the disability rights movement has stagnated. We need
to not be afraid to use our voices. Yes, there will be consequences and
reactions to what we say--people may not like what we've got to say. But we are
free to speak out and say what we think - so we must speak out and let our
words make an impact.
Image of the ADA signing ceremony at the White House.