The Center for Accessible Living is an innovative leader in empowering all people to achieve their goal of independent living while involving the entire community.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
YES! I Feel Empowered
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Let's stop talking about what Kanye did
Monday, June 16, 2014
THIRTY YEARS WITH CAL
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
What Do We Really See In the Mirror?
it, you begin to feel inferior--with or without your consent.
As individuals with disabilities, a lot of people tell us things “for our own good” And some of us are born not seeing barriers. We are always thinking. "Why CAN'T I do this?" if someone says, "You can't do that!" Some of us have that attitude pushed on us by loved ones until we adopt it as our own. And some of us do see barriers. I'll admit that I used to, even though I played the "can-do-girl" for my family. I eventually grew into her. And this Roosevelt quote was one of my favorites because I thought, "This is true, and I'm not letting anyone make me feel INFERIOR." For the most part, I live up to my word, but there are times, I let those seeds get to me. And what I am wondering is for other individuals with disabilities still growing into their "can-do" or "no-barriers" attitude, how much do those "for-their-own-good" comments grow into seeds of self doubt that become poisonous and regress their growth. So, “for their own good”, be quiet and let us grow.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
What We Need from Our Allies
Allies are people who consider themselves to be not disabled and who want to help us to achieve our liberation ourselves and not on our behalf. A special group of allies are the parents, children, friends, lovers, and spouses of people with disabilities who themselves suffer much of the oppression by "connection." Also our allies are people who have chosen a professional interest in disability. Historically some of these people have been put into roles, which are oppressive to us. This does not negate their alliance or potential alliance. Our natural allies include all members of other oppressed groups.
What We Need from Our Allies
1. We need people who consider themselves non-disabled to explore their feelings about their bodies, (the ways they learn and think differently), their experiences of being ill, of being made to feel "different" in any way, of their reactions to people with disabilities, and of their fear of becoming physically less able themselves.
2. We need listening while we express our hopelessness, pain and frustrations. (Only when we have thoroughly discharged these feelings will we be able to move successfully to a thorough celebration of ourselves and our lives.)
*Remember that the expression of feelings is not the "hurt", it is simply the expression of the hurt. We have all felt hurt and never showed it to anyone. Part of humans' natural healing ability is expressing feelings to another who listens with respect and patience, not needing to "fix" us or hurry us off our feelings. It is a powerful gift to let someone be honest about how they are feeling without judgment, in confidence, knowing the sharing is the healing.3. We need our internalized oppression interrupted. This may mean recognizing it when we do not.
*(Interrupt us if we speak degrading about ourselves or expect too little accommodation for our disabilities. Remind us that it is the oppression talking or preventing us from taking action. Encourage us to "act outside the oppression" by speaking well about ourselves and each other, by acting boldly and powerfully, by taking ourselves seriously.)4. We need support to love and encourage each other to tackle our own goals, ideas, and dreams; i.e., our counselors, family, and friends must not collude with any patterned divisiveness between us or act on their own feelings of being "left out."
5. We need to be touched lovingly and with awareness in order to contradict the massive invalidations we have been given of our bodies.
6. We need to have the highest expectations made of us.
7. We need to have our allies join with us in our demand to be included in all events which at present means solving the problem of access (for example):
A. By making all venues accessible to people with mobility-impairments;
B. By the provision of sign-language interpreters whenever necessary;
C. By making literature and important information available to people with visual disabilities; and
D. By not wearing strongly scented perfumes, deodorants, hair sprays, after- shave, etc.
Liberation
Our liberation will require the challenging of all facets of our oppression, and in particular the resulting internalized oppression, i.e., coming together, noticing how we feel about it and expressing that to others; and overcoming any divisiveness between us; recognizing the cause of our mistreatment as oppression; recognizing our right to exist, to have feelings, to be loved and to love; to participate fully in society and particularly in controlling our own lives, making allies and being allies to all other oppressed groups.
- Excerpt Taken from Arizona Bridges for Indepenent Living (ABIL) Peer Mentor Training Manual
Thursday, December 5, 2013
"Handicapped" Does not Define Me
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
What People with Disabilities can learn fifty years after Dr. King’s "I Have a Dream" speech and the March on Washington
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Has the disability rights movement stagnated?
- By Stephanie Hickey -
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Disability Advocates Call ‘Glee’ Gun Portrayal ‘Poor Choice’. What do you think?
- By Keith Hosey -
Ok, so I missed this episode (it's on DVR), but apparently it was a controversial one. At first glance, I thought the title was about 'Artie' not actually being paralyzed. Poor choice in my book, nothing about us without us. I'm sure there were actors with paraplegia who would have liked that role. But apparently the article is about the character Becky Jackson, played by Actress Lauren Potter, bringing a gun to school. Lauren and her character both have Down Syndrome.
Potter’s mother, Robin Sinkhorn, told The Huffington Post that she took no issue with a character with Down syndrome being the one to bring a gun to school.
“If Becky’s going to be fully included on the show... then why not Becky?” Sinkhorn said. “Whether she has Down syndrome or not, it doesn’t matter … She’s a teenager. She makes stupid decisions just like other teenagers do.
But not everyone feels the same way. Officials from the National Down Syndrome Society called it a “poor choice” to depict Becky bringing a gun to school.
Excerpt taken from: http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2013/04/12/disability-glee-poor-choice/17703/
I have to agree with Potter's mother. The disability community has been fighting, since before I was even born, for equality. We (and I use "we" with the utmost respect for those who came before me) have carefully crafted our messages, strategically chosen our fights and proudly claimed our own words of choice. We have fought societal prejudices that people with disabilities are broken, helpless, burdens, subhuman and outdated beliefs that people with disabilities are supposed to be grateful for charity and pity. We’ve made tremendous strides toward changing these perceptions through advocacy, education and legislation; public awareness campaigns and day-to-day interactions with the public. Justin Dart, Ed Roberts and others have shown the world that people with disabilities are able, capable, strong, independent, equal. They didn't want charity or pity, they demanded rights.
So when we reach a point where a hit TV show portrays a character with a disability doing something that any other character might be doing, good or bad, that is equality. This person isn't being portrayed poorly because of her disability. She's being portrayed poorly as any other kid in school, regardless of having a disability. Part of equality also means not putting people with disabilities on a pedestal. We're all human. You take the good, you take the bad and there you have... the facts of life.
If the disability community has a problem with 'Glee' maybe it should be about a non-disabled actor playing a character with a disability, instead of a character with a disability being portrayed as human.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Bullying the Disability Community
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Equality is Never Trivial or a Waste
This week, the Senate debates the U.N. Treaty, The Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD). It's not only a proclamation that people with disabilities across the globe deserve equality, but is also a vehicle to hopefully ensure that other Countries give equal rights to people with disabilities. It was modeled after the U.S.'s own Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA), an international model for disability rights.
A small minority of Senators are holding back U.S. ratification, claiming that it would take away U.S. sovereignty and parents rights in America. But most experts agree it wouldn't affect U.S. sovereignty and the vast majority of disability advocates champion it, here and internationally.
In fact, over 100 other countries have already ratified it. CRPD doesn't require anything of the U.S. above and beyond what the ADA already does. Former White House Counsel C. Boyden Gray and former Attorney General Dick Thornburgh, a parent of a child with a disability, have confirmed that no changes in U.S. law will be required to comply with the treaty.
So why is it so important that we ratify it? Ratification will allow the U.S. to "contribute formally its leadership and expertise on disability issues to rest of the world.” It is a powerful symbol that the U.S. values equality and human rights.
As I type this, the Senate will vote on CRPD. Many people have mentioned that while the "fiscal cliff" of sequestration looms, this is a waste of valuable legislative time. I would argue that equality is never a waste of time or resources. This, in fact, is why I believe the United States is the greatest country in the world. What if in the late 80s and early 90s, we said, "the ADA isn't as important as the national debt, let's put it aside for now." And the Civil Rights movement? Women's Suffrage?
I hope that the Senate does the right thing and votes to ratify international disability rights so that they can move on to other (but not more) important pressing matters.
Keith Hosey
Associate Director
Center for Accessible Living
Update: CRPD did not get the 2/3 votes in the Senate to be ratified by the United States of America.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Know No Excuses
- By Guest Blogger Pinalben “Pinky” Patel -
I believe everyone should have a college education especially people using a wheelchair. Many people cannot go to college because of various responsibilities such as having to take care of a sick loved one or sports training, but having a physical disability is not a valid excuse.
However, there are different stages of disability. Some people in wheelchairs can drive, cook, clean, stand up or even walk a few steps by holding onto the wall. Whereas, some wheelchair users have very limited use of their arms and cannot stand or turn in bed without another person's help.
Hence, wheelchair users have to choose their study in college according to their capabilities. It certainly does not mean that the choices are limited. It just means that people using a wheelchair have to be realistic when it comes to choosing study areas.
For instance, I am a wheelchair user due to Friedreich's Ataxia. My FA has also made my upper body so uncoordinated that I cannot write with a pencil. Therefore, I don't think I can study surgery and become a surgeon even if I wanted to become one. I chose an area, which I could study as independently as possible.
Since my junior year in high school, I enjoyed writing. I wanted to study creative writing in college. I do not type as slow as I write with a pen but much slower than average. So vocational rehabilitation bought a voice-activated software called Dragon NaturallySpeaking for me to type my assignments faster. I enrolled in West Kentucky Community and Technical College because it was in town where I can use the local taxi. It offered an associate degree in English with many literature and creative writing classes.
When I finished the associate degree, I wanted to do a bachelor's degree. I went to Murray State University to do that because it was closest to my home. But it was still about an hour away from my home. I took journalism classes at that college because they were less demanding in attendance than creative writing. However, transportation and attendant care was still becoming an issue. Even though the University provided note takers and scribes for tests in classes, I had a difficult time finding reliable people to work with as I need help in the rest room and driving.
To resolve the frustrating problem, I changed my major and degree program to one that would let me take most classes online. I had Internet access and VR helped me get a computer so I was able to stay home while finishing my degree. I finally graduated with a bachelor's of independent studies in Print Communications.
People with disabilities should not worry about college expenses either – they are more than bearable. My college fees were paid by FAFSA and VR. Because I also had a KEES scholarship, I received a few leftover bucks from the financial aid office. When I had the hour commute, VR even paid for gas mileage and outfitted the family van with a wheelchair lift. I did spend a little money to take summer classes because I wanted to finish my degree faster, but that is not a requirement.
Although the cost of a college education does depend on the chosen school, a will to study would make any school a great choice. I did not want to study at any of the schools I had gone to, but in my situation those schools were the best for me. I wanted to focus on studying, not training personal-care attendants to handle my needs. Besides, I had lots of trouble finding daytime aides so I can only imagine the tediousness of my living in a dorm. After taking some classes, I found that there is no difference between an IV league and a public or community college. Education is education, no matter where it is from.
Education is really important to me because I was not expected to study beyond high school. People still awe at me when they find out I am a college graduate and strangely, that is a nice feeling. I want everyone in my situation to feel that sense of accomplishment.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Disability Rights: More Than After-Dinner Conversation
"Disability Rights: more than after-dinner conversation" was the slogan on a tee shirt The Disability Rag magazine created as an awareness tool for their catalog sales. The Rag did this to draw attention to disability--in the right way--and show a different image of disability. It promoted a concept evoked by the Rag's perspective of disability cool. The catalog had bumper stickers, postcards, buttons and tee shirts with slogans on them. One tee shirt had a mermaid in a wheelchair and it said "Disability Cool."
What is "disability cool"?* Is being a wheelchair jock cool? Or being an activist? Having a sense of awareness? Does it refer to an attitude in disability rights? Are people "disability cool?" Or just things?
"It's disability cool to travel with a pack on your chair, slung over one handle, just like college kids do with their packs, particularly a ratty one," said a loyal Rag reader. "It's having the attitude that what you're doing is normal--no big deal-that projects the sense of disability cool. You're flaunting convention. Nobody's making any big deal about the disability."
In those day The Rag listed designer glasses and books on tape recorded by authors, like Nancy Reagan. Today examples include neon wheelchairs, glucometers in designer colors and Oxygen bars touting flavored scents and colored cannulas, just to name a few. www.ragged-edge-mag.com
As disability advocates, Access to the Arts, Inc. tries our best to "get the word out." You might see something about it in the news but probably not. Unlike other minorities, people with disabilities don't have a good public relations campaign. They're either trying to cure us or rehab us.
By the way, the proper term is people with disabilities, disabled people. No cutesy stuff like "physically challenged." That's a term that gives us a false attribute. It makes it sound neat to be us: we are physically challenged! And, please, no "differently abled," or "able bodied." And three words about "crippled children" : we grow up.
To be honest, disability involves many aspects of life so sometimes it's hard to explain why our history, our issues are relevant or should be of interest to you. Media coverage of disability too often focuses on courage and cure and overcoming. Or the cost of health care. (We, by the way, know excellent ways to curb the high cost of disability but no one asks us.)
Why, you may be asking yourself, should you be more aware of disability? Well, when we got started in this disability advocacy business thirty years ago, there weren't so many of us, only about 10 percent. Now we are over 20 percent. So we'd be surprised if you didn't know one of us or aren't one, especially if you were here thirty years ago!
Disabled people are not thought of as a minority even though we are the largest. And the most diverse in nationality, ethnicity, gender, persuasion, size, age . . .
Turner Classic Movies (TCM) will dedicate the month of October to exploring the ways people with disabilities have been portrayed in film. Lawrence Carter-Long, recognized for his expertise in the arts, access and media, will join TCM host Robert Osborne for The Projected Image: A History of Disability in Film. The special month-long exploration will air Tuesdays in October, beginning Oct. 2 at 8 PM (ET).
Twenty-two years after the passage of the ADA and over a century since Thomas Edison filmed 'The Fake Beggar,' TCM will provide an unprecedented overview of how cinematic projections of isolation and inspiration have played out on the silver screen--and in the lives of people with disabilities.
"This is a valuable opportunity to take a deeper look at the movies we all know and love, to see them from a different perspective and to learn what they have to say about us as a society," said Osborne. Carter-Long will provide a historical background and insight on how cinematic portrayals of disability have evolved over time.
And--in a first for TCM--all films will be presented with both closed captioning and audio description (via secondary audio) for audience members with auditory and visual disabilities.
TCM's exploration of disability in cinema includes many Oscar-winning and nominated films, such as An Affair to Remember (1957), in which Deborah Kerr's romantic rendezvous with Cary Grant is nearly derailed by a paralyzing accident; A Patch of Blue (1965), with Elizabeth Hartman as a blind white girl who falls in love with a black man, played by Sidney Poitier; Johnny Belinda (1948), starring Jane Wyman as a "deaf-mute" forced to defy expectations; The Best Years of Our Lives (1946), the post-War drama starring Fredric March, Myrna Loy and real-life disabled veteran Harold Russell; and Charly (1968), with Cliff Robertson as an intellectually disabled man who questions the limits of science after being turned into a genius.
A complete schedule can be found at www.tcm.com
Disability Cool is learning ASL (American Sign Language) not because you have to but because you can. The Center for Accessible Living conducts a "Conversational" Sign Language class. To register, please contact: Meg Deckert at the Center for Accessible Living, 502-589-6620; mdeckert@calky.org Accommodations available upon request. If this goes well they're planning to do it all around town.
National White Cane Safety Day is October 15. Come celebrate at Fourth Street Live from 11AM-1PM and learn more about this symbol and tool for independence. Blind and visually disabled people have used canes as mobility tools for centuries but it was not until after World War I that the white cane was properly introduced. The first of the state laws regarding the right of blind people to travel independently with the white cane was passed in 1930. It granted blind pedestrians protection and the right-of-way while carrying a white cane. Today there are different varieties of the white cane, each serving different needs.
www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/white-cane-safety-day
To celebrate National Disability Awareness Month last year, Starbucks released a Starbucks Card with Braille lettering. The Braille card was first suggested at a symposium with national disability leaders in 2007. Starbucks has also taken steps to make stores accessible, including large print Braille menus available upon request. The reloadable Card is available now at participating Starbucks stores and available online at www.Starbucks.com/Card.
Each October, KQED as PBS affiliate in the San Francisco bay area, hosts a Celebration of Disability Culture, airing special programs that explore the complex web of experiences and issues faced by people with disabilities. To view the schedule go to: www.kqed.org/community/heritage/disability/index.jsp
Remember the song "Save the Last Dance for Me," and how the man tells the woman to go ahead and dance as long as they leave together at the end of the night? It's so romantic. She dances. He watches. And when the music's over, they put their arms around each other and go home. A huge Drifters' hit in the 1960s. The back-story: The songwriter was Doc Pomus, a blues singer who had polio and used crutches and a wheelchair. His wife was a Broadway actress who liked going out on the town.
www.tuscaloosanews.com/article/20071007/NEWS/71005012/1005/SPORTS0106
Go to the Encyclopedia Of American Disability History. Susan Burch, Ed. Facts On File, Inc.: New York, NY. 2009. Burch and her colleagues have created a foundational text in the fields of Disability Studies and Disability History. www.dsq-sds.org/article/view/1291/1322
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Ten Ways To Advocate For Change
- By Barbara Davis -
In today’s economy it is likely that many of us are feeling frustrated over budget cuts, lack of jobs and reduction in services. We may feel that our politicians are letting us down in the laws they enact or don’t. It is easy to become complacent and think there is nothing we can do. Fortunately, this is not true. Below are ten ways we can advocate for change on both the local and federal level.
Vote.
Presidential, state and local elections are equal in importance. The mayor, city council members, state legislators and other officials write or enforce laws that impact our daily lives, while the President and Congress work on similar issues on the federal level.
Join support groups, councils and coalitions.
Some groups provide advocacy and support. Councils and coalitions offer opportunities to advocate for improvements in transportation, housing, education, etc. If you do not know of any specific groups, councils or coalitions in your area that advocate for your particular interest, search the internet for this information.
Call or write your legislators.
Legislators know who can hire and fire them, and they pay attention to these voices. If there is an issue important to you, let your legislator know. Participate in calling and writing campaigns when asked to do so. Better yet, visit them when they’re in their local office if you can.
Don’t take “no” for an answer.
Find out who else you can talk to or what appeal process is in place, and proceed accordingly.
Don’t assume a problem can’t be fixed, or a law can’t be changed.
If you want sidewalks in your neighborhood, find out where to start and go from there. It may take time and require a variety of methods, but if it is important to you, there are likely others who feel the same way. Start writing or calling campaigns, get a petition going, or join a council that is already working on the issue. If you gather enough support, the sidewalks will come.
Attend rallies and public meetings.
Officials of schools, transportation and other service providers pay attention at packed public meetings. If you want more services, increased funding or improved neighborhoods, go to these meetings and have your say. Large rallies can have the same affect. When legislators realize a large number of their constituents have certain views, they take notice, and vote on impending legislation accordingly.
Participate in surveys, focus groups and questionnaires.
Companies who produce technology and provide services want our input. Changes in healthcare, transportation, assistive technology and education have all come about due to surveys and focus group participation.
Google it.
Google can tell you where to write your legislators, how to start a support group, and who to talk to about the neighborhood sidewalks.
Go public with your issue.
Utilize social media to post videos or voice an opinion. Write articles online, address a letter to the editor of your local newspaper, start a petition on Change.org, or contact your local TV station with a story idea.
Photo Credit: Flickr
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Becoming An Effective Advocate
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| [Uncle Sam image] |
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Find the Funny

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Why is Your Online Presence Important?

- By Keith Hosey -
Have you ever “Googled” yourself? If you are online, then chances are that you have some type of online presence. But what does it matter if you’re never going to run for office or become famous, it sounds like something only politicians, movie stars and other famous people need to worry about, right? Who would Google you anyway?
Potential employers, potential landlords, friends, neighbors, co-workers, business partners, classmates, teachers... you name it, anyone who is curious can look into your online presence. It’s the new first impression, digital impression, and it could harm you. So, if you want to make a good impression with anyone you may meet, you should make sure the internet isn’t giving you a bad name. Here is a simple, plain-English guide to online reputation management. I hope it helps.
Google Yourself
Step one, Google yourself. Try it with your full name “Keith Hosey,” your full name and city “Keith Hosey, Louisville, KY,” any nicknames (Let’s say I went by “Chip” – and I don’t) “Chip Hosey.” Your results will likely list other people by your name. For example, “Keith Hosey” returns a mixture of results for me, a priest in Indiana, a 20 year old in Dublin, Ireland, a recently deceased man in Michigan, and another Keith Hosey from Alabama on Facebook. “Keith Hosey, Louisville, KY” gets a different set of results, just for me. Knowing your first three pages for each search is important. You will need to take a close look at what results are showing up for your name.
Social Media Management
Unless you’re famous, have been in the news or listed online with some group’s website (member of the Rotary Club, etc.), then most of your results will be social media networks. Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Myspace… I have even more than those, I use Flickr for photographs, YouTube, LinkedIn, Delicious bookmarking site, Foursquare and more.
You have total control of your social media accounts, so let’s talk about management. Nobody uses Myspace anymore, right? Just because you haven’t logged into your Myspace account in three years doesn’t mean it’s gone! If you’re done with Myspace, delete your account. Otherwise, your profile picture from 2003 doing a keg-stand will live forever. If there are any other sites that you don’t use anymore, delete them all.
Next you need to look at all your active accounts. How much access are you giving to strangers? Most sites like Facebook, Google Plus, Flickr, Foursquare, etc. will give your total control over who sees what and how much. You can be invisible or you can be completely public. A good way to find out how to control those settings is to Google “[that social network]’s privacy settings.” You’ll find tutorials on how to restrict access to “only your friends” or to make your profile completely invisible to search (including Google Search!). Then you have to be proactive about what you share with whom. Make sure all of your status updates are not “public” or “everyone.”
You may also want to go in each network and clean up old photos or old status updates that you don’t want people making judgments about. This can be very time consuming and the quick fix is that you make your information private and only available to “friends.” But you can’t hide forever. Eventually, your boss, coworkers, landlord, friends, neighbors, business partners, classmates, teachers, etc. may want to be your “friend,” then it’s all open to them again. That person you were hiding your keg-stand photos from might have the “friends only” access, so don’t completely ignore this step!
Other Results
What about things you can’t control, like news articles, memberships, listings, etc. If you don’t have control of the source, then the only thing you can do is change the results. Google results are based partly on how much a link is clicked (and how recently it happened). So, if “Keith Hosey arrested for hunting rabbits out of season” is on my first page and I don’t want it there, I need to start clicking on positive links that are behind it in the search results. This will eventually push that link back to the fourth or seventh or fifteenth page. Hey, if it’s that bad and you don’t want it there, ask a couple friends to help. Unfortunately, there’s no other way around it. This can be a lot of effort, so ask yourself if you can live with it. For example, I signed up to be a part of an “International Talk like a Pirate Day” meet-up last year (It’s every September 19, me maytes!). Is it unprofessional? Yes. Is it goofy? Probably. Will it harm me? Not really. And in a couple years, it will fall back in the results to more current and more clicked items.
Do you have a disability?
Because I work at a disability agency, my name results have lots of disability results, disabilitymentor.net, blog posts like “I'd Like to Take the "Dis" out of Disability,” listings as “ADA Amendments” speaker, EEO filings… oh my! For me, I’m ok with the association with the word disability and it’s also part of my professional involvement. But if you have a hidden disability and don’t want potential employers or other people to know about it, you should make sure you don’t have it publically listed and searchable in Google. Is it part of a profile bio? Are you listed as the chairperson on your local National Association of Mental Illness website?
More tips and tricks
If you don’t put it out there, you won’t ever have a problem to worry about. Think before you post something on the internet, because it’s usually there forever. Try to stay away from making public your political views, your religious views, and any other hot topics. Try to stick to the old “Topics of Polite Conversation” rule of thumb. Also, remember that comments on websites, blogs and other people/pages on your social networks may be set to public, so be careful what you say. Just because your Facebook is set to “friends only,” your comment on your best friend’s page may be free and open for all to see. Finally, be proactive. You can set Google Alert emails on any keyword, just go to http://www.google.com/alerts and set it up for your name. This way, when there’s a new result for your name, you’ll know about it.
Photo Credit Flickr
Do you have any tips that I’ve missed?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Romance with a Disability

- By Stephanie Hickey -
I know that everyone asks themselves this question: "Will I ever find true love?" But this is a particularly tricky question if you are disabled. My insecurities aren't eased by tasteful remarks I read, such as one about Kevin McHale: Artie from Glee. To paraphrase, it went: "He's hot! I'd do him; too bad he's in a wheelchair." That wonderful comment hits the core fear disabled men and women have regarding love. Being disabled, can I really loved? Remarks like this also leave us with the attitude we are lucky to find someone, anyone to love us because we are disabled, as if it takes a very special kind of person to love someone with a disability. And kudos to them for doing so!
I used to feel that way--that being disabled I'd be lucky to find anyone to love me. I was I was always particularly self-conscience of my many operation scars. Will a man be repulsed by these? Would he find them strangely beautiful? Perhaps, what I hoped for most is that he wouldn't notice them at all; he wouldn't even care.
And then it happened. I actually met someone. He acknowledged my scars, but he didn't care about them. But still I worried whether or not I would be capable of meeting his physical needs in a girlfriend. What if he liked taking long walks, or worse, hikes in the mountains? Would he laugh at me if I fell? What if he didn't understand my days, the days my pain kept us from meeting? Like the scars, it didn‘t matter. And he never laughed at me. I was lucky. I found someone who understood the limitations my disability put on our relationship, never letting it affect how much he cared about me. And it did strain our relationship at times, even if he is very gallant and still insists it never interfered in any way. We eventually went our separate ways, not because of my disability, but because of the other factors that occur in relationships. He was not my true love--just my first love.
Now I’m on the search for true love again--and older--new insecurities plague me, particularly as a woman. I fear I may not be able to have children. What if I could have children? Could I be a physically adequate enough mother to provide the playfulness and exertion children need? How will that affect a relationship?
Although these worries nag at me, I realize they’re nothing more than the baggage I’ll carry into a relationship. What woman isn't insecure about her body? What man isn't insecure about his body? And what woman doesn't fear that she may not make the best mother her children need? We all come with insecurities and all relationships come with complications; disabilities may make things in a relationship more complicated, but that doesn‘t mean the obstacles are insurmountable or that they are even obstacles. Anyone who finds true love is blessed and if I stumble in my search for true love, it is not because I am disabled, but because I am human and we stumble in our search for love. Being disabled doesn't mean true love isn’t out there for you to find, even if it seems that way. It may just be harder to see it when it is in front of you.
Photo Credit Flickr
Friday, December 9, 2011
Why Don’t We Use ‘Disability’ and ‘Pride’ together more often?

- By Keith Hosey -
Why don’t we talk more about disability pride? I believe that disability is natural and that people with disabilities can do anything non-disabled people can do, we just do things a little differently sometimes. I understand that not everybody feels like I do about their own disability, but consider this: Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If we can’t be proud of who we are, how can we ever expect society to treat us as equal?
We need more pride in the disability community. We need to celebrate our heritage and our abilities. Other minority groups celebrate their proud heritage, so why not us too? This community has athletes, comedians, professionals, actors, CEOs, etc. People with disabilities have climbed Mt. Everest won Ms. America and even became President. We have quad rugby, paralympians and the third most used language in America (ASL). We are the largest political minority and, as consumers, we have huge spending power.
Even though Club Foot is one of the most common congenital disabilities in the world, I only knew of one person who was like me when I was growing up, a female figure skater. I could identify with her because we shared the condition of club feet. Only one person who I could say, “hey, she’s like me, I can be successful too.”
We need to recognize and celebrate those people who are role models with a disability. We have Marlee Matlin, Ray Charles, Penelope Trunk, Muhammed Ali, James Durbin and Mark Zupan. We have Leroy Colombo, a Deaf man known as the “world’s greatest lifeguard,” who saved more than 900 lives. We need more role models – and not just the famous ones, but neighbors and friends - to be proud of their abilities and of this community so that kids can say, “hey, he/she’s like me, I can be successful too.”
Are you a person with a disability? We need YOU. Celebrate your disability pride.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor:
People with disabilities have the right, like other registered voters, to cast their ballots at polling places that are accessible to them. This includes, but is not limited to, people physically accessing their polling places in order to vote independently and privately.
You may have been notified that your polling place has been moved or noticed some changes when you voted in the May Primary. These changes have happened for Kentucky to be in compliance with federal laws regarding voter access. The Commonwealth, like all other states, is required by several federal laws, including the Americans with Disabilities Act and the Help America Vote Act, to make voting fully accessible to all voters, regardless of disability.
We, as advocates, have heard from people with disabilities over the years who have used absentee ballots to vote because they were unable to enter their polling places due to physical barriers. Use of absentee ballots should no longer be a necessity.
The Secretary of State, the State Board of Elections, County Clerks, the Kentucky Disabilities Coalition, and other disability rights advocates have been working hard to ensure that polling places are physically accessible and have at least one accessible voting machine. Kentuckians with disabilities can vote independently and privately. No longer are individuals with disabilities prevented from casting their votes in voting booths like other registered voters.
If you are an individual with a disability who experiences problems with accessibility on Election Day, call your county clerk for help. You may also contact the State Board of Elections (1-800-246-1399), Protection and Advocacy (1-800-372-2988), or the KY Office of the Americans with Disabilities Act (1-877-423-2933).
Sincerely,
Marsha Hockensmith
Executive Director
Protection & Advocacy
100 Fair Oaks Ln, 3rd Floor
Frankfort, KY 40601
Norb Ryan
Kentucky ADA Coordinator
KY Office of the Americans with Disabilities Act
500 Mero Street, 2nd Floor
Frankfort, KY 40601









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