Let's stop talking about what Kanye did

...and talk more about WHY he did it.  

If you are angry because Kanye "picked on" a person with a disability or because he singled both of them out (there was also a lady with a prosthetic leg), you might be missing the bigger picture. 

We need to talk about the root of the problem. He stopped his concert for three minutes until the person was forced to "prove" that he was "disabled enough" to not obey the command. And while Kanye has been publicly chastised for it, that act of ableism seems okay to many, many people on a smaller scale in public settings every day. Disagree? Well, have you ever questioned (aloud or in your head) someone who "doesn't look disabled" in an accessible parking space? That's ableism. 

It's the self righteousness attitude of able-bodied people who think they're the "disability police." So many people with disabilities face never ending confrontations and challenges to their rights in their daily public lives: The person with fibromyalgia who gets hassled every time he legally parks in an accessible parking space; the person with the CP or Spina Bifida that can stand for very short periods of time out of their wheelchair who are challenged as "fakers" if they ever get out of that chair in public; the lady at Kanye's concert who had to detach her prosthetic leg and hold it in the air to prove she was allowed to sit down at a public event. 

Why does anyone feel they have the right to demand proof of disability from other people in public situations? AND what about the people at Kanye's concert who had invisible disabilities that might have stopped them from standing for long periods of times. Would they have been publicly shamed until they were forced to stand? 

This is an all too common public opinion that people with disabilities have an "onus of proof" on themselves in order to access the services or things that they need to function in the community. That attitude is more disabling than any disability. 

We as a society need to stop assuming that "everyone else can do everything that I can do" because we ALL have different abilities (disability or not) and not every disability is visible.

By Keith Hosey

Image used with permission. 

Disability Advocates Call ‘Glee’ Gun Portrayal ‘Poor Choice’. What do you think?

- By Keith Hosey -

Ok, so I missed this episode (it's on DVR), but apparently it was a controversial one. At first glance, I thought the title was about 'Artie' not actually being paralyzed. Poor choice in my book, nothing about us without us. I'm sure there were actors with paraplegia who would have liked that role. But apparently the article is about the character Becky Jackson, played by Actress Lauren Potter, bringing a gun to school. Lauren and her character both have Down Syndrome.

Potter’s mother, Robin Sinkhorn, told The Huffington Post that she took no issue with a character with Down syndrome being the one to bring a gun to school.

“If Becky’s going to be fully included on the show... then why not Becky?” Sinkhorn said. “Whether she has Down syndrome or not, it doesn’t matter … She’s a teenager. She makes stupid decisions just like other teenagers do. 

But not everyone feels the same way. Officials from the National Down Syndrome Society called it a “poor choice” to depict Becky bringing a gun to school.

Excerpt taken from: http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2013/04/12/disability-glee-poor-choice/17703/

I have to agree with Potter's mother. The disability community has been fighting, since before I was even born, for equality. We (and I use "we" with the utmost respect for those who came before me) have carefully crafted our messages, strategically chosen our fights and proudly claimed our own words of choice. We have fought societal prejudices that people with disabilities are broken, helpless, burdens, subhuman and outdated beliefs that people with disabilities are supposed to be grateful for charity and pity. We’ve made tremendous strides toward changing these perceptions through advocacy, education and legislation; public awareness campaigns and day-to-day interactions with the public. Justin Dart, Ed Roberts and others have shown the world that people with disabilities are able, capable, strong, independent, equal. They didn't want charity or pity, they demanded rights.

So when we reach a point where a hit TV show portrays a character with a disability doing something that any other character might be doing, good or bad, that is equality. This person isn't being portrayed poorly because of her disability. She's being portrayed poorly as any other kid in school, regardless of having a disability. Part of equality also means not putting people with disabilities on a pedestal. We're all human. You take the good, you take the bad and there you have... the facts of life.

If the disability community has a problem with 'Glee' maybe it should be about a non-disabled actor playing a character with a disability, instead of a character with a disability being portrayed as human.

Having a Baby with a Disability

If you’re not Family or know us personally, you may not have heard: my wife, Shannon, is pregnant! Yes, I’ll be a father for the first time later this year and we're both really excited.

At one time in my life, I was worried about having a child with a disability. My congenital disability is hereditary and, for a long time in my younger years, I worried about passing that gene along. I obsessed about it, really. Now, I understand that it's a pretty correctable condition thanks to our most modern medicine. But at one point, I worried that my child might have to go through childhood being picked last for sports or possibly teased by other children for being different. Ironically, all the things that I now attribute to building character in my own life.

The day after I had found out that I was having a baby, I was at an event where a speaker was talking about her child with a disability. I listened to her experiences and had an epiphany. It was like a weight lifted from my shoulders. Unlike many people, I’m not worried IF my baby has a disability. Of all my encounters with people with disabilities, I am not worried that a child with a disability couldn't live a full, happy life. I know he or she could and would. It should be no surprise that I’m not ashamed of my congenital disability (but I will correct you if you call it a “birth defect”). In fact, I take pride in being part of the disability community.

If we had a kid with a disability, they would be lucky to get me and my wife as parents. Some of the greatest parents I've ever known have worked in the Independent Living Movement, too. As a result, we're less worried about our baby being "whole" or "healthy" and more focused on providing a meaningful life for our child, disability or not.

No, I’m not worried IF my baby has a disability. Instead, I’m worried FOR my baby if it has a disability. I'm scared for my child's feelings being hurt because of the perception of others. I worry about how society currently views and treats people with disabilities. I am scared to death that he or she won’t have true equality or equal opportunity in our society. If it's a severe disability, I worry about lack of community based services, that to get the services we need, we would have to lock our child up in an institution. I worry about a staggering unemployment rate.

I have no problem if my kid has a disability. If she or he happens to end up with a disability, then the work I've been doing for the last ten years for disability equality and accessibility just becomes that much more real to me. And if you're inaccessible for whatever reason, watch out. Actually, either way, watch out. Because for everyone's child who could have been mine, I'm working even harder now for equal access. 

- Keith Hosey

I Have a Disability and Deserve Your Respect

- By Keith Hosey -

“If you like me, you won’t discriminate against me.” – Cass Irvin

In case you missed it, March 2^nd was Spread The Word To End The Word day (the r-word, “retard”). So what’s the big deal? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, right?

Wrong. I used to use words without regard. I’d call things I didn’t like “gay” or “retarded.” Here was my reasoning: I didn’t mean anything by it. I was calling a thing ‘retarded,’ not a person. What was the problem?

Nobody’s perfect and I’ve certainly learned my lessons, I have since cut much of it out of my language (and continue to strive toward that goal). Now, in life, I correct people when they don’t use appropriate language. This applies to it all bigotry-charged words; racial, sexual orientation, disability related, etc. With disability related words, I am sometimes scoffed or mocked, it doesn’t really matter to some, it’s “too politically correct.”

When you use the r-word as a cut down, it hurts real people - people who might be you neighbors, friends or coworkers who have a relative with an intellectual disability. People you have never met standing behind you at the store or sitting next to you in a restaurant. Still think it’s a victimless crime?

Words are indicative of attitudes and world views. I grew up with a disability. Crippled, gimp, retard are all words that have been used at one time or another as weapons against me. Verbal weapons aimed to hurt and bully me. They pierced me to the core, sharply cut my heart, spirit, confidence, my world view of myself. I’ve seen this pain in other people, too. I’ve seen the hurt a word can do to individuals, family members, and friends.

When you talk about “cripples”, when you say that something is “retarded”, I remember every time those words were used as weapons against me. I remember the pain they caused before I was strong enough, proud enough in myself and my differences to not let it hurt. I know it hurts many others like me and, as strong as I am, it still stings a little. It stings because, if you use those words, you don't accept my peers with disabilities as equals. If you accept me as equal, if you consider yourself as not being bigoted, you cannot use these words. I will not accept it. It’s not “too much political correctness”, its respect… for me and others with disability as your equal.

I’ve written about the r-word and ableism before and so has my co-blogger, Stephanie Hickey. As Writer Jeff Goins said, “Do yourself and the world a favor and stop using the word “retard.” Period. No questions. No excuses. Just stop. Stop calling your friends “retards”… When you open your mouth and words like “retard” come out, well, it makes you look dumb. And a bigot. And kind of a jerk.”

Most people in “polite society” will hesitate to use the n-word, the three letter f-word for gay people. They are no different than my words. Some people think they are different because they don’t think it hurts anyone. Me, they hurt me. I have been called crippled, gimp, retard. I have a congenital disability and deserve your respect, so please don’t use those words that have made people with disabilities feel inferior for centuries. It’s time to change. In 2011, I’m making it personal.

Not convinced? Try these two stories. A Parent’s Story and The Retard in the Next Booth. Then make the pledge to stop using the R-word.