What We Need from Our Allies

Allies

Allies are people who consider themselves to be not disabled and who want to help us to achieve our liberation ourselves and not on our behalf. A special group of allies are the parents, children, friends, lovers, and spouses of people with disabilities who themselves suffer much of the oppression by "connection." Also our allies are people who have chosen a professional interest in disability. Historically some of these people have been put into roles, which are oppressive to us. This does not negate their alliance or potential alliance. Our natural allies include all members of other oppressed groups.

What We Need from Our Allies

1. We need people who consider themselves non-disabled to explore their feelings about their bodies, (the ways they learn and think differently), their experiences of being ill, of being made to feel "different" in any way, of their reactions to people with disabilities, and of their fear of becoming physically less able themselves.

 2. We need listening while we express our hopelessness, pain and frustrations. (Only when we have thoroughly discharged these feelings will we be able to move successfully to a thorough celebration of ourselves and our lives.)

*Remember that the expression of feelings is not the "hurt", it is simply the expression of the hurt. We have all felt hurt and never showed it to anyone. Part of humans' natural healing ability is expressing feelings to another who listens with respect and patience, not needing to "fix" us or hurry us off our feelings. It is a powerful gift to let someone be honest about how they are feeling without judgment, in confidence, knowing the sharing is the healing. 

3. We need our internalized oppression interrupted. This may mean recognizing it when we do not.

*(Interrupt us if we speak degrading about ourselves or expect too little accommodation for our disabilities. Remind us that it is the oppression talking or preventing us from taking action. Encourage us to "act outside the oppression" by speaking well about ourselves and each other, by acting boldly and powerfully, by taking ourselves seriously.) 

4. We need support to love and encourage each other to tackle our own goals, ideas, and dreams; i.e., our counselors, family, and friends must not collude with any patterned divisiveness between us or act on their own feelings of being "left out."

5. We need to be touched lovingly and with awareness in order to contradict the massive invalidations we have been given of our bodies.

6. We need to have the highest expectations made of us.

7. We need to have our allies join with us in our demand to be included in all events which at present means solving the problem of access (for example):

A. By making all venues accessible to people with mobility-impairments;

B. By the provision of sign-language interpreters whenever necessary;

C. By making literature and important information available to people with visual disabilities; and

D. By not wearing strongly scented perfumes, deodorants, hair sprays, after- shave, etc.

Liberation 

Our liberation will require the challenging of all facets of our oppression, and in particular the resulting internalized oppression, i.e., coming together, noticing how we feel about it and expressing that to others; and overcoming any divisiveness between us; recognizing the cause of our mistreatment as oppression; recognizing our right to exist, to have feelings, to be loved and to love; to participate fully in society and particularly in controlling our own lives, making allies and being allies to all other oppressed groups.

- Excerpt Taken from Arizona Bridges for Indepenent Living (ABIL) Peer Mentor Training Manual

CAL VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT: ED KIRBY

Ed Kirby, an Army veteran and former firefighter, is currently a volunteer for the First Impression Suit Closet in Louisville. He came to CAL five years ago and is responsible for day-to-day operations of the suit closet, including maintaining inventory, collecting donations and scheduling consumer fittings.

Ed takes his duties of helping consumers look their best for job interviews very seriously. He says he wants to prepare each day to help himself be compassionate and understanding, because he wants every consumer to feel important, no matter who they are. He loves getting the chance every day to work with some of the most amazing people who have faced the same challenges he has.

While describing himself as loyal to a fault, friendly and compassionate, he also acknowledges he loves being at home. Some of his favorite TV shows include NCI S, Blue Bloods, and Person of Interest. He has an interest in sports. He also enjoys reading a daily reflection called "Faith to Faith". Ed can never leave his apartment without hope, gratefulness and compassion for his fellow man.

Muhammad Ali is a celebrity Ed once met. He would also like to have met Nelson Mandela and his grandfather together because "they cast a big shadow" for the rest of the world. If given a time machine, he would like to explore the Industrial Revolution.

Ed is exactly the type of person we are grateful to have on our team. CAL staff says "thank you" for all that he does.

"Handicapped" Does not Define Me

- By Carrissa Johnson - 

I've always felt that knowledge is indeed power. Explanations are important for a person's growth, safety, and well-being. How many of us would follow basic laws if we didn't understand the reasoning behind them? Change doesn't happen for the sake of change. Everything evolves for reason. A good example of this is language. We are asked to drop words from our vocabulary because the meaning can change or seem offensive. I have read and heard many people talk about society becoming “too politically correct” with language. But have you ever stopped to actually analyze the reasons behind such change?

The word “handicapped ”is freely used in society to describe a person with a disability. I still see it daily used in signage and speech. As a person with a disability it upsets me. At times when I tried to explain my argument, people think I'm being too politically correct and that my feelings are hurt over “just a word .“ When you look up the definition, you can see the dictionary even coined it as “sometimes offensive.” Since I'm a person who believes knowledge is power, I would like to analyze the reasons for the offense so that maybe people will understand and will not categorize me as overly sensitive.  Some definitions talk about handicap as an advantage (game of golf) while others to talk about it as a disadvantage.

I know the first is used to describe a game. But I don't look at my disability as giving me an artificial advantage over others. My being able to park in a spot reserved for individuals with disabilities is not an advantage. (It sometimes can be a pain but that's another educational post).

The second definition talks about a disadvantage that makes achievement difficult. I've achieved a lot in my life, but no more than any other person: honors throughout my school career, and Master’s degree, my own home, employment, and a family. At times some of those things were difficult, but not because of my disability itself; only the attitudes and thoughts of others. On the contrary of that definition,  I consider myself very fortunate and blessed to have all of these things and to have my disability. It is a part of me. but only a part. I am more than my disability. It's not a secret that I can't walk but it doesn't have to hinder other activities. Personally I think most individuals with disabilities will tell you that they are working toward a goal and being fulfilled in their life. 

Some websites talk about Handicap being derived from “cap in hand,” a phrase associated with beggars and begging. Handicap should not be used to describe a disability. I have never begged for anything I have. I've achieved and been blessed. Again it does not fit.

Others refute the statement citing a story in the 1600s where the British monarchy used it to honor disabled veterans coming back from battle by removing their caps. Whichever side you take it doesn't describe all individuals with disabilities. (And I personally don't want to be saluted for having one.)

Armed with education what is appropriate? This way of thinking does not ask you to change your vocabulary every few years. Instead put the person first. That never goes out of style. I'm not handicapped. I'm a person with a disability. It is only a part of who I am just like eye color or a job title. It doesn't define me completely. Person first language is not just politically correct or an overly sensitive fad. It is the right thing to do. Just like I believe knowledge is power I believe most people are inherently good and do not want to offend another person. With that in mind, what will you do?

Haters Keep Hating and We All Lose

- By Stephanie Hickey -

I’ve rallied, advocated, and some may even say ranted against people using the word retarded. I’ve argued that given the multitude of words available to us, we can say so many alternatives to the cruel and hurtful “r” word. But our culture is so saturated with the word—it’s used in movies, television, music and books—so much so that the “r” will cross a person’s tongue thoughtlessly, with no regard for how truly hurtful it is to others.

What do I do when a person says it to me? Do I endlessly berate them? Shun them? Equally hurt or humiliate them? You know what happens when people are lectured too much? They stop listening to what you saying. They may become even more inclined to do what you don’t want them to do out of spite. So what do I do when someone says the “r” word to me? I say, “That’s a hurtful word to me.” And then I forgive them. That’s right: I forgive them. I fight the “r” word with forgiveness as much as I do advocacy.

So why is there no forgiveness for Paula Deen? The word she used is atrocious, disgusting, appalling, and all other negative labels you can attach to it. So she has lost all the respect she once carried; her livelihood is shambled, and her good name has been destroyed. And still there are editorials, blogs, and comedians continuing to flog her. I am not condoning her conduct, but two points. For one thing, she said the word thirty years ago, a time in which (no justifying it) the—we all know what she said, so I won’t allude to it—saturated our culture as much as the word retard permeates our society today. And two: her use of the word was taken out of context. She said the word in the heat of a moment, in a peak of anger. A nasty truth about human beings is that when we are angry at an individual, we want to say something that will hurt them the most. We want to go for the jugular. We want to call a disabled person a retard or retarded or we want to call an African American that dreadful word. Even if the word never flows out of our mouths, we—if we are being truly honest with ourselves--want to say it, because we want to hurt them.

Why do we do this? Because we are human beings, flawed creatures who make mistakes. So why is the public still crying for more of Paula Deen’s blood? When someone is mean to their child, do parents teach these children to be mean back? Do they teach to keep hate going? I can’t speak for all parents, but mine taught to forgive. Forgiveness is the hard road to take, I know, but I believe it is more productive than hate. So for all that say the “r” word to you, forgive them. And for all of you still trying to chastise Paula Deen, give it up already. Enough is enough.

What's Wrong with Disability?

"What's wrong with you?" "Oh no, what happened?" are questions that I get more often now. From long time acquaintances, causal friends, complete strangers. They all seem ask when they notice it.

I started wearing a leg brace two years ago on my right leg due to my club feet. As a kid, I resisted leg braces. I hoped for the least intrusive looking so that others didn't notice them (clear plastic was my favorite). But at this point in my life, big metal bars on my shoes are fine as long as they help me. I was ready for the assistive device, but I haven't been ready for the questions.

Ironically, I feel I answer children much better than adults. But they first ask, "Why do you wear that?" I say "it helps me walk" and THEN they ask "What's wrong with you?" It's simply curiosity. The brace doesn't automatically invoke "What's wrong" like in an adult. The child is not steeped in the cultural bias that different is not “normal,” that it is bad or "wrong." To children I am happy to explain that all people are made differently and that while he/she may walk in sneakers, I need pieces of metal on my shoes to walk. I enjoy these conversations because it often helps to "normalizes" my disability - and others - for the child.

But with adults, I am often caught off guard by the question. I often deflect, defer or minimize the situation. I generally don't want to explain decades of a diagnosis that I have explained countless times before to everyone I meet. Instead, I should be able to have a conversation about language, differences and disability.

Nothing is "wrong" with me. Disability is natural. And by that, I mean: Disability is a natural part of the human experience. If you don't have one now, live long enough and you will. There have always been people with disabilities and there will always be people with disabilities.

What is “wrong” is referring to disability and differences as “wrong” or bad. It’s a term that I and countless others have heard all our lives and it hurts sometimes. It hurts children because they begin to believe that they’re broken. It hurts many adults, too, because they feel like outsiders always being quizzed and questioned as to their worth. It hurts our whole community because language is insinuating that a whole group of people are inherently unwanted, bad, and broken... "wrong." 

My legs simply work differently than yours. Different doesn't mean wrong. It's just not part of your non-disabled, majority view of "normal." I have a congenital disability and I happen to use an assistive device to help me walk. Do you have glasses? Similar concept. What if everyone ran up to you, pointed to your glasses and shouted, "Oh no! What's wrong with you?" How would that feel?

When you meet someone with a different hair color, religion, height, or skin color do you ask them “What’s wrong with you?” There are many differences in humans. So, please stop asking me "what's wrong" with me. 

- By Keith Hosey -

What People with Disabilities can learn fifty years after Dr. King’s "I Have a Dream" speech and the March on Washington

The march on Washington 50 years ago today, which included Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, was not just about racial justice, but also about economic equality. The March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom was not simply the battle for civil rights, its agenda was a broader and more radical one of economic equality. The brilliance of this march is that, in a time when African-Americans were regularly being beaten or killed or excluded from places just because of how they look, the organizers and Dr. King were looking forward -  looking towards economic justice as well as racial equality.

Without economic equality – jobs, equal wages, the same employment opportunities – no group of people can truly enjoy the American dream. So they organized the march, calling for “mass descent” upon Washington, with participants protesting “the economic subordination of the American Negro.” They envisioned a groundswell of protest calling for freedom and jobs with the dual goals of ending racial segregation and discrimination in the Jim Crow South and achieving economic equality for all Americans.

People with disabilities can learn a lot from the march and Dr. King’s speech. Namely, that until people with disabilities have economic justice and equality, we will not be treated as equals in this society.

Although people with disabilities are still being refused basic access and services – and we're still fighting for ramps and interpreters – our unemployment rate is also almost twice that of non-disabled. The true unemployment – those not working and not looking for work – is even higher. Many with disabilities that are working, are often working lower wage jobs and some are even paid less than minimum wage, thanks to outdated 1930s laws based on false assumptions that people with disabilities cannot be as productive non-disabled.

To make matters worse, many of the social support systems which are supposed to help uplift individuals who need a temporary “hand-up’ to achieve the American Dream end up holding people with disabilities in poverty. The fear of losing life-saving medical care has stopped many people with disabilities from working or becoming economically self-sufficient. As Sen. Edward Kennedy wrote, "the high unemployment rate among people receiving federal disability benefits is not because their federal benefits programs have 'front doors that are too big - i.e., have eligibility criteria that are too loose - but because they have 'back doors that are too small' - i.e., once persons are on the rolls, it is too risky to come off."

Fortunately, now more than ever, people with disabilities will be able to become economically independent. New rules for federal contractors to hire people with disabilities and an ever increasing desire of many companies to hire people with disabilities in general are breaking down stereotypes and inequalities in the workplace. Provisions in the newAffordable Care Act (ACA), including the end to discrimination over pre-existing conditions, new affordable health benefits exchange and expanded Medicaid will allow people with disabilities to find medical coverage outside of the limited current options. There’s never been a better time for people with disabilities to pursue employment and not fear for their health coverage.

Yes, ramps and interpreters and access and an end to discrimination are extremely important to the disability rights movement. But we shouldn’t forget what the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom has to teach us. As long as people with disabilities are largely living in poverty, the public vision of us as ‘objects of charity’ will prevail and our demands for civil rights as a political minority will be ignored.

- By Keith Hosey -

Has the disability rights movement stagnated?

- By Stephanie Hickey -

I wrote an earlier blog about how the word “retard” is offensive and shouldn't be used casually, as if it doesn't hurt, and as if there aren't a million other word choices available to people. I am not the only one that has written or spoken out against the "r-word". There is a big national movement to educate people about the "r-word" and how harmful it is, urging others not to use it. And it has brought down a storm. Reading message boards, I saw the people getting up in arms, rallying, "I'll talk however the (you can fill in the blank on your own, I'm sure.) I want!"  "I'm so sick of these whiny (you can fill in the blank again) trying to tell me how to talk. We have freedom of speech in this country."

Freedom of speech is an illusion in this country. Or I should say that it is a misinterpreted notion. Yes, we do not live in a dictatorship where will get imprisoned or shot if we speak out and say the truth or what is in our hearts. But there is no such thing as consequence-less speech and I think many people forget this and misunderstand the idea of "freedom of speech." There are reactions to what we say. Our words can offended others. And our words can wound others--and wound them deeply.

But that does not mean we should be afraid to speak out when it is necessary and right, because our words can have a positive effect--and a powerful impact. I don't know if the disability community is really putting the power of words to full effect. I feel that we have some dirty words in our vocabulary. "Please." "Thank you." "I'm sorry." We are always apologizing. (as if we are an inconvenience). And saying "please" and "thank you" aren't always bad things. It is good manners to say those words. But we speak them as if we are obligated to thank everyone for every little thing that someone does for us. And believe me, I am not being preachy here, I am very guilty of this habit myself. I am always saying I am sorry, and I am always apologizing for asking for things to which I am rightfully entitled. And we are not being whiny whatever-people-want-to-call-us simply by speaking up for the basic things we deserve, such as respect and dignity and independence.

We are a legitimate community and minority. But I feel that we are not taking the steps that other minorities have taken in the past to make positive changes for themselves. We are not using our voices in government as strongly as we should--and we are not communicating with each other. April is National Disability History Month, and it's been more than twenty years since the ADA has been passed. But I feel that the disability rights movement has stagnated. We need to not be afraid to use our voices. Yes, there will be consequences and reactions to what we say--people may not like what we've got to say. But we are free to speak out and say what we think - so we must speak out and let our words make an impact.

Image of the ADA signing ceremony at the White House.